Saturday, October 22, 2011

Psychosomatic Gamer

Guest blogger Kevin WK recently admitted his ADD in a post, and it got me thinking.  And by thinking I mean "self diagnosing".  And I have realized that I have a whole range of mental issues that have stemmed from and are fed by my gaming, shall we call it, addiction?  Basically I'm warning you that this is pretty much a series now where I figure out that I have an issue and then tell you about it.  But while admitting it's a problem, I still think it's kind of awesome because I love to game and anything that assists me in that is FTW.

Today's problem: dependency.  I was going to say co-dependency, but after researching I find that isn't quite the right diagnosis.  See, co-dependency is defined as "unhealthy love and a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life" (Thanks Wikipedia.)  Whereas dependency is defined as ": something that is dependent on something else" (Thanks Merriam-Webster.)

I thought I was co-dependent because I have devolved into this kind of gamer who doesn't want to play unless someone else is online and I can talk to them while playing.  But that's not co-dependency, it's just normal old dependency!  See how mentally healthy I am!?
I love you.
So what is my deal?  I have the desire to play games like Mass Effect 2 (which got shelved months ago - *shameface*) that require my full attention...yet I sit down to put them in, check my friends list, no one is on...and I leave the Xbox.  That's right.  I turn my back on my old friend, because it can't have a conversation with me.  I don't even want to play Halo or something multiplayer, I only want to play with people I know and can talk to.  And I only want to play when I'm talking to them.  SO not only is the amount of time I'm gaming suffering, but the quality of games I'm playing, because really I max out at Peggle and Bejeweled when I'm talking in party.  I just miss out on every iota of a game's story if I try to play Fable or Mass Effect.

What is wrong with me?!  I used to play alone!  It used to be enough for me!  I've been spoiled by Xbox Live and readily available friends, and now I've been ruined by Xbox Live and friends many time zones away from me.

1 comment:

Debbie said...

I need to move by you so we can play at the same time. I hate that I go to bed at like 7pm and that I'm two hours away from you. But I understand what you're saying. Sometimes I rely pretty heavily on other people being online to keep me motivated.