Hide Yo Kids...

I am fairly certain that we have covered this topic before, but I feel like I need to bring it up again.  Little kids and video games.  I don't have a problem with parents deciding that their child is okay to play an "M" rated game.  I do, however, take major issue with little kids being all up on the mic.

When a game requires a clan, I see the whole idea as being a way to play together, socialize, group up, and engage with one another.  MMOs are particularly meant for a social experience.  When you take a game for adults (violence, skimpy clothes, F-bombs) and add small children (ages 12 and below), the parent is doing so at their own risk.  Allowing those same small children to get on a mic in clan chat is painful for everybody involved.  

Let's start with what should be the most obvious: my age vs their age.  I am 31 years old and I sure as hell do not want to hang out with your 7 year old.  That's weird.  It's annoying to me that I now have to spend time with a small child in order to get things done with my clan of adults aged 40 and up.

Second, what the hell kind of parent is allowing their child to get on the mic and talk to complete strangers?  Would you allow your kid to hang out in chat rooms online by themselves?  Or approach and converse with strangers in a park by themselves?  So why are there people that think it is harmless to allow their small children to be in a public lobby?  There is nothing to keep me or anyone else from saying something violent, threatening, or sexual.

Lastly, the adults that allow these kids online are super inconsiderate.  I was actually told in clan chat that I need to watch my language because there was a small child in chat.  An adult game full of talking adults should be no kids allowed.  It makes the game less fun and more awkward for everyone else.

So please, please leave your kids off the mic.  It's inappropriate for everyone involved, and I definitely won't be sorry when I teach your kid some new words.

Disneyland, but Cheaper

It is NOT this easy.

So the kids and I recently remembered that we have the very fun and engaging Kinect Disneyland.  So we've been trying to play it.

Trying is the keyword.

I basically don't know how families stay together after trying to play this with my 3 year old, my (now) 6 year old, the 1 year old wandering around, and my husband.

First, the baby.  When two other big kids/me are playing, and he wanders in front, it somehow totally removes us as player and accepts him.  This is beyond annoying.

Then the 3-year-old.  She desperately wants to play this.  She's probably the most age-appropriate for a Disneyland game... and she can barely do it alone.  It is impossible to help her with the proper motions, and have you ever tried telling a 3-year-old, "Lift your left hand.. no your left. Your other hand.  The one close to me. Now lift it.  Less.  Lift it just a little.  Now lower.  Higher.  Like this.  Do what mommy is doing.  Oh for the love of Pete, you're on your own."

The 6-year-old has a great grasp of it, and can properly control it.  Phew.  I suppose I also fit in this category.

And then there's my husband, who somehow always has to walk across the room, and since this is the most finicky Kinect game it either picks him up as a player, or the brief second he passes the Kinect totally blanks us all out.

I can't understand why some Kinect games are so good at tracking and keeping you logged in, despite madness in the room, and others are just absolutely awful.  Disneyland fits in the awful category.  And it's marketed for children.  Ironically, Once Upon a Monster is also awful, and also for children.  Does Xbox/Kinect want parents to kill themselves over their children crying that the characters won't dance with them??

I don't think it's reason enough not to buy the game.  It is super fun.  I am an unapologetic Disney lover.  Disneyland was truly the most magical place on Earth for me.  And it is faithfully recreated in this game.  It's so fun to walk around and see the same corners of the park that we walked in.  "Hey look! That's the bathroom where we cleaned up that giant poopy diaper!  Ahh..memories."

Just, when/if you buy it, prepare yourself. I suggest a glass of wine.  Or just playing it after the kids go to bed. You know you want to.

I'm Always Watching

I have never had a problem watching my friends play a single player game.  I have spent many a happy hour watching the Hub wander the wasteland of Fallout 3.  In high school I vicariously played Final Fantasy 7 and Socom through my group of friends.  I have now moved on to watching hour upon hour of my children playing Kirby or Mario, and most recently, Skyrim.  For real.

My husband has been teaching the 4-yr-old the basics on Skyrim.  It is so fun to watch them play together and bond over the game.  The kidlet seems to have a natural talent for gaming.  She struggled briefly with controlling both joysticks at once - for movement and camera - but now she's got it down pat.  There's nothing she loves more than wandering around in the forest, searching for the friendly animals and swimming in the streams.  She has had moments of panic and throwing the controller back at dad when there's a vicious bear or group of bandits attacking, but who can blame her?  Having dad there is like a gaming spotter - he's ready to take over in the event that it gets too difficult.

That being said, my watching habits have been strained to the max trying to watch the hub play Skyrim on his own.  Why?  Surprisingly it's not because it makes me nauseous like Oblivion always did... rather it's because we have such radically different play styles that it drives me bananas to watch him play!  He is a hoarder of goods, and even when he desperately needs money he won't sell off his things.  I am the opposite - if I have it and am not immediately using it, I sell it for cold hard cash.  Sometimes to my detriment, but hey, at least I can buy myself a house!  To sit empty.  Because I sold everything..

Are you a watcher, or are you the one that has to be in control?

Livin' La Vida Loca

I'm channeling Ricky Martin when I play Disney Universe.  Sounds like a jump, right?  Spend 5 minutes in the Universe and you will see why.

The video gives you a little indication of what it's like.  I just watched the trailers and they don't indicate the extreme madness that this game offers, so I had to link the actual gameplay to show you what you're going to get.  There is always 800 billion things happening on screen.  There are puzzles which are usually extremely simple to complete, especially with the assistance of the blue helper arrows (they guide you exactly where you need to go) but trying to solve the puzzle with A) thirty spastic bad guys stomping all over you and B) the "assistance" of a 4-yr-old player two is not easy.  When the kid and I play this there is a lot of this happening:

     "K, go over there."
     "Where?"
     "Over to the arrow.  Step on that button.  DO NOT MOVE."  (I go to required location activated by button, she moves, I die.)  "AGgggghhhhh I said don't move."
     "Well can I go there?"
     "Umm..not yet."  (Because it is a step in the required puzzle to move forward in the level and if she tries to complete it it'll take 10489208 hours longer than I am eager to spend for her to drag a wheel to its location etcetc...)   "Now, step on the button.  Don't move."
     I complete the step.  Bad guys spawn.  She jumps off a cliff 12 times.  

It is maddening to say the least.  I have yet to play this single player, but I'm hoping that I can get through some of the levels easier and get the achievements I so desire by playing alone.  But it is a blast to play with the kid, since dying has little to no consequence (you just lose some of your gold) and she thinks it's a really fun game.  I don't know if she could play this one on her own just yet... I think it's a little too advanced as far as the puzzle solving requirements go.

The graphics, sound, and levels are all fun and cute, but they do add in to the general chaos.  For example, we played the Lion King levels earlier today and there is all the crazy stuff going on already, plus the level around you is on fire and everything got kind of wavery looking.  For a minute I thought my Xbox was trying to give me 3D graphics.  I was very confused and got a little nauseous, but luckily that has only happened in the one section of the one level.  And I seem to be extra sensitive to video-game-induced motion sickness so it might not even be a problem for the general public.

There are tons of items to find and unlock in each level, and each suit can be leveled up by finding and collecting stars in the levels.  It definitely has replayability based on just having to level up all the suits.  And kids would totally find a favorite level and play it to death, because that is how they roll.  If you have young'ens who love Disney, make sure you have this one wrapped up under the tree.

If You Can't Replay It, At Least Reuse It

We all have a lot of video game junk lying around. I know that a lot of my friends have old consoles, games, controllers, and more. Many people will hoard these items hoping that someday they will be able to sell them for some huge amount of money. Some even hold out hope that they will someday hook that old console or load the game back up and give those ancient levels one last go. But there comes a time when blowing into your game cartridge just won't cut it anymore. Here are some fun ways to keep your non-functioning gaming history near and dear.

I know that everyone has heard of this or has a friend who did it. Turning that old Game Cube console into a lunchbox. The cool one about this is that you can keep the games. The Wii is backwards compatible so you don't even have to sacrifice your favorite Cube titles. Its a really easy process and a great conversation piece. All you need to do is dismantle your Game Cube until all you have left is the shell. When you are removing the inner workings of the console, just make sure that you don't damage or attempt to remove the latching device in the corner that holds that lid shut. When I remodeled mine, I just carved out the space where the disc goes and used that. Other people split the entire console in half. If you cut it in half, you will need to by a hinge and some screws from a hardware store. Luckily, its pretty cheap. You can't fit a ton into the case, but its great for snacks and other random items.

There is no better was to wish Jesus a very happy birthday than dressing your tree in video game ornaments ! My favorite way is to use old Game Boy games. This one is crazy simple. Just drill a small hole into the tiny cartridges and run a string through the hole to make a loop. Easy ! We had a bunch of Game Boy games that we took to several shops to help us try to make them work and no one could fix them. This was the next best option. Every year, our tree is adorned with these adorable mini cartridges. I love Castlevania and Jesus does too.

The controller wind chime. Ok, this one is really labor intensive. I have never done it but I have one lone friend that had the free time to go crazy on this one. Here is the process. She took a thick piece of wood and cut it into a large circle. Drill holes around the edge and one in the center. Run a sturdy rope or chain through the middle to hang up the chime. She then took old controllers (from an NES to be exact) and cut the plug off the end leaving the controller and about 18 inches of cord depending on how large you want to make it. Go to a local craft store and pick up some decorative bells that have loops. Run one bell down each cord so that it rests on top of the controller. Then run the cords through the holes around the edge of the piece of wood. Hang it up and enjoy.

A less time consuming alternate to the crazy ass wind chime would be to make a baby's mobile. You could use game cartridges of different sizes, maybe from NES, Game Boy, N64, Sega, and more. There are lots of "make your own mobile" kits that can be ordered online, add these games and let in spin ! You wont have to bother with the with mechanics of a motor or trying to hang it. Just remember not to put the bells on this time.

Some of these are super easy and others are ridiculously complex. These are just a couple big ideas. There is always the possibility of doing smaller things like reusing maps and strategy guide pages as wrapping paper. Taking apart controllers can provide lots of fun little pieces for arts and crafts as well. I know it sounds harsh to destroy this stuff. But it seems like a waste to keep them all in a box in the closet when they are no longer playable and can't be fixed. The games may not be functional, but at least you will have them around in a nostalgic, cheeky way. Yes, i used the word cheeky.

Quality Family Time Comes in a Box

Family Game Night is a disc that consists of seven family friendly games. You can buy all seven games at one time in a box or certain consoles allow the individual game to be downloaded independently. The games are Sorry, Boggle, Yahtzee, Connect 4, Sliders, Scrabble, and Battleship. Each game has the ability to play solo, with three other players locally, or even play with friends over the console's network. What's even better, is that all three major consoles have this game available.

Story: There isn't one ! It really is the equivalent of bringing out the board game. The only advantage would be that you aren't going to have to struggle to play with pieces of the game missing. And potentially the space saved from storing seven board games in a closet somewhere.

Graphics: 7/10 There is some fun animation of a Mr. Potato Head. He dances, cheers, and periodically flies around the room. There are also some fun animations related to shaking dice, pulling new Scrabble letters, and the like. There is nothing spectacular or really that impressive. But its made for kids and families, so it doesn't really need to be. One of the Design aspects of the game that I found unnecessary was that the games are kept in a "Family Room". You can download new themes for the room and spin around in a circle to view it. You can't really spend time in the room and it seems to be pretty pointless. They could have saved the time and money the spent designing this room and added more achievements or even another game.

Sound: 5/10 Prepare yourself for some pretty annoying music. Its extremely redundant and geared for small children. There are lots of little exclamations made by the omnipotent Mr. Potato Head. Where the game does make up for all this is the life-like sound of the games. The rattling Yahtzee dice in a cup, the little Boggle cubes, the Scrabble tiles, etc. If you play the game for more than an hour or two, those sounds become really irritating. But you probably weren't meant to be staring at this game for a full day.

Game Play: 9/10 This game is really easy to understand. If you can play the games in real life, you can play them on the screen. If you don''t know how to play the games, there are a lot of easy to follow instructions. The opening screen takes awhile to navigate through and that can be pretty annoying. But once the game starts, its really easy to play through. There is not a ton of time wasted in between player turns or even when starting a new game. The fast load times keep the games quick and entertaining. There are also different game modes for each title. You do speed rounds, versus modes, and lots of other old school options. So if your family is used to playing a certain way, it is most likely an option here. You can even set up your own personalized games with game types, score limits, and more.

Overall: 8/10 This game is great for a family. Its not made for little kids. So don't expect your child to come on this thing and understand Boggle or Scrabble before they can spell. Depending on the mental skill level of your child, I wouldn't really play these games with anyone under the age of eight. The game has the great reliability much like Tetris or Peggle. It is easy to play when I don't really need to focus. The achievements are pretty fun as well. They have a pretty great spread. About a third of the achievements are really easy and will be reached through natural play. The next third take some intentional attempts. And the last third are really hard to do and are based almost on luck.

Buy / Rent: This game was a Buy for me and I'm glad that I did it. It is a classic, easy game that can be played over and over. Much like these board games have stood the test of time, they do the same on this disc. Even if I don't play the game every week, I still come back to this it periodically. When I can't decide what game to play, I will chat with people over the network and play this until I have made my decision.

This game is a little bit older, but that just makes it even better. You can buy it pre-owned for around $35 and it is well worth that money. There are newer versions of the game that have other Hasbro titles, but since the game is newer, it is also more expensive.

Brutally Stupid

The title inspired by my darling Debbie in reference to kids' games.  Why are they, as she so delicately put it, "brutally stupid"??

I know I have referred to my 2-year-old daughter Kiera's gaming in this before, so that is where this blog builds from.  I want to buy her some new games for the DS specifically, and it is impossible.  She is totally into My Little Pony but the DS game for it looks so mind-numbing.  It's got a simple storyline (not that she needs a novel, she can't even read) and then something like 8 mini-games.  The exact same mini-games that are on every single kids game from what I've seen.  A version of Memory, a simple puzzle, a match game...  How many different faces can go on the exact same game?  And we expect kids to remain interested in that?

And now that I say that, there are just so many games geared towards the kiddies that are all the exact same game with a different face.  How many pet games can there possibly be?  (Nintendogs, My Pet Shop, Littlest Pet Shop, Paws & Claws, My Pet XXX [variety of animal choices], Imagine Babyz [babies are pets, right?]...)  Nintendogs is one of Kiera's favorites, and it is a pretty well put together game.  I've enjoyed spending some time on it (although the daily repetitive nature of it would get old I would think.)  I do think simulation games are good for kids though, because they can imitate things they understand in real life, like feeding a dog or making a salad (Cooking Mama).

Simple puzzle games are best for her right now, I think.  She enjoys games like Chuzzle and Plants vs Zombies on the computer, and loves the mini-game section on her New Super Mario Brothers DS game.  She likes to try and play the main, platform game on Mario, but can't quite get it.. Something about hand-eye coordination and making her thumbs do what they should.  She loves to play Scribblenauts which makes absolutely no sense since you have to be able to read and write, but she gets a kick out if it anyways.  Today my husband hooked her up on the Wii with Super Mario Sunshine and she was totally digging that, even though she was just swimming around in circles.

But these games aren't geared towards kids as little as she is.  In fact, are any?  Once she can read the ability for her to game is just going to explode and I think we'll both love that.  But it might not hurt for game companies to make more simple, fun games.  I think that more and more parents are giving younger and younger kids the option to game, especially with the ease and portability of the DS.  If there were more fun and easy games, like the WarioWare series, that would be great for everyone.  We all want a little variety, even when we're 2-years-old and our attention span is 13 seconds long.  (Perfect for mini-games!  Just give me more than the same eight games under different guises.)

What I want to know is who buys all of these games?  The Imagine series comes to mind, as it has countless iterations: Design Fashion Designer, Singer, Pet Vet...  Are young people buying multiple versions of this game, or do so many options mean that everyone can get a game specifically tailored to their interests?  Is this the early version of the seemingly hundreds of versions of FPS that we have to choose from once our parents let us play rated M games?

My guess? Yes.  The game companies are training us from an early age to want more more more.  I just cracked the case.  And ended up in a completely different train of thought here at the end than I was on at the beginning of the blog!  Clever!  But really, in a nutshell, I think that gaming is awesome even for the little-ones.  I think that it does help with hand-eye coordination.  They can learn to have fun playing a game, it is a great distraction when you need them to be still for a little while, they can learn simple reading and math skills even in games not specifically geared towards teaching..  So quit hating and buy that kid a DS.  You'll be glad you did.