Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Dear John Letter to Borderlands

Dear Borderlands,

You are an insolent, little tease. I have spent hours pouring my heart and soul into our relationship and you do nothing but spit in my face. When I tried to complete my mission in the Crimson Armory, you glitched and moved my target person to whereabouts unknown. When I tried to acquire the radar for my sweet, personalized ride, you channeled a bug and dropped it below the floor and under the map making it impossible to reach.

I remember the time I accidentally failed a mission in the Knoxx DLC. You let everyone else who has failed go back and try again. But when I screwed up, and you "accidentally" lock the doors to the vault making it impossible to complete not just one but TWO missions ! You know very well that if I don't complete those missions that I won't be able to get all of my achievements.

How dare you suggest that the only way I fix all this is by starting all over ? I don't want to continue on playthrough 2. And I don't want to start from the beginning with a totally new character. Your constant glitching is a major issue but you don't want to listen. You could create fail-safes to prevent these things from happening. Or even release a patch for the forums full of people you have deceived. But you are too busy using me for my hard earned money by selling me bugged DLC.

I don't know. My friends say I should walk away; that you're no good for me. Maybe they're right. I'm done being the only one putting all the effort into this relationship. You're a bastard, Borderlands and I hate you.


1 comment:

Linz said...

I always told you you couldn't trust that guy...he's trouble! With a capital T!

Maybe you should date his brother, Borderlands on PS3.