Misheard Game Titles, Vol. 3

Grand Theft Auto I.V.

We've all played and enjoyed GTA titles in the past.  The world is now ready to welcome GTA Intravenous.  You enjoy the game by literally tapping it into your veins!  There is nothing like the thrill of explosions and random murder in a GTA game, but now you get that thrill plus a boost of adrenaline via the newest gaming peripheral, an I.V. bag and all the accoutrement you need to hook it straight into your arm.

This is the ultimate gaming experience.  Forget 3D.  Forget headsets that block out all noise except your game.  Forget immersive player interaction.  Grand Theft Auto I.V. is actually inside of you.

Available...well..not really anywhere. Thanks a lot, FDA!

Batman: Arcane Asylum

Batman has long been the king of gadgetry.  This dark knight has hundreds of items at his disposal to take out the baddies he encounters.  But, as we all know from day to day life and red rings of death and burned out batteries, gadgets can fail.  That's why Batman has taken up a new step: He has entered the Arcane Asylum.

That's right.  Everyone's favorite super hero of the night is going to learn him some magic.  He'll be trained by the finest wizards and mages as you level up in this game.  Imagine going up against Mr. Freeze with your new arsenal of fire spells, plus frost resistance!  Aww yeah, the Batman has become even more unstoppable.

Misheard Game Titles, Vol. 2

Hello fellow Achievos!  I have got to say, before I start this blog, that I am so thankful and indebted to Debbie.  She is such an awesome blogger and friend.  I have been away from the internet and gaming for the last 6 weeks due to Real Life, and she has been so good about keeping our blog active.  And not only active, but awesome - her blogs are hilarious and full of good information.  So thank you, Debbie, for being the best co-blogger a girl could ask for.

*end sappy transmission*

We now will provide you with the second installment of Misheard Game Titles.  The stupidity of our nation provides endless entertainment.  And don't forget, if you have a misheard title, send it to achievos@gmail.com.

Modern Welfare 2

When the difficulties of life pile up on you, sometimes you have to turn to a little government help.  Modern Welfare 2, the sequel to the smashingly popular simulation game Modern Welfare, continues helping the player learn how to spend those WIC coupons and food stamp cards!  In the first installment, your toon went to the Welfare office and got signed up.  In MW2 there is no more of that tricky paperwork to navigate or long lines to wait through (although that was a clever way to mask load times.)  Instead, you are out there spending away, and learning healthy eating habits in the process!  Plus there are fun side games where you get to blast Welfare mis-users out of the program.  Did you see that WIC consumer drive up in that chromed out 2010 Escalade?  Now's your chance to turn them in to The Man*!  (*where "turn them in to The Man = blowing that Caddie up with a grenade launcher.)


The Beetles Rock Band

The wildly popular band has been replaced by their lesser known counterparts, The Beetles!  Spelling has never been so important as it is in this new Rock Band title.  Popular songs include Eleanor Bugby, All You Need is Loam, and Norwegian Wood (Your Delicious Diet).  Gameplay is as you would expect from any Rock Band titles, but prepare yourself to bug out over new peripherals (pun intended).  The graphics leave a little to be desired, mostly due to hyper-realism and hundreds of TVs nationwide being broken by genteel ladies screaming and hitting the screen with their high heels.

Misheard Game Titles, Vol. 1

So we have friends in the industry.  That's right, we're practically famous.  (Note: industry = GameStop.)  And when you have highfalutin friends like this, you're privileged to some pretty awesome knowledge: like how stupid the general public can really be.  In this instance, it's the names people will come up with as misheard or misunderstood actual game titles.  And we got such a kick out of this that I created graphics, and will now review these fictional (for now) games for you.  For free.

Marvel vs. Comcast

Comcast, as a rule, has too much power.  So the Marvel cast has decided to knock them down a peg or two.  Sit for a moment and let all the awesome images come to mind: Spiderman pummeling HD cable boxes that won't come in better than 1080i.  The X-Men delivering a whooping when you had to pay extra for that DVR (ironically so you wouldn't miss any X-men cartoons.)  The Thing from The Fantastic Four totally dominating those horrible Comcast vans that not only drive horribly, but always park in the most annoying places in your neighborhood.  All this, and more, is now possible in Marvel vs. Comcast.

Luigi's Revenge

Poor Luigi...He's been living his entire life in the (quite ample) shadow of his rotund brother, Mario.  And he's had enough of it.  In Luigi's Revenge you take the reins as the greener brother, and dominate all those that have stood in his way in the last 27 years.  He'll start small - koopas, goombas, all your typical baddies.. Move up to your basic mid-level boss: Bowser.  Luigi will remove that overgrown turtle's shell for all those kidnappings over the years.  Luigi isn't some second rate princess you know, and he didn't appreciate being taken all those times when Peach was unavailable.  And why hasn't he gotten any of that cake!?  Which leads us to the end battle: Mario.  The ultimate sibling rivalry meted out by pipe wrench.  You won't want to miss this one.