Fable 3 - Can I Have Your Baby ?

Fable 2 stole the hearts and souls of millions. With the distinct ability to make perverse gestures and contract sexually transmitted diseases, who wouldn't have fun ? Now those fun-loving bastards at Lionheart studios have come back with a sequel that is sure to quench your polyamorous thirst. First, the story.

In Fable 2, there was a story. Ask around, and most people have no idea what it was. Sure there was some fighting and a villainous character to defeat, but the whole story was extremely short and totally forgettable. Fable 3 has a much better and longer adventure in store. You play as the son or daughter of the main hero character from Fable 2. You fulfill your destiny to become a hero in order to over-throw your evil brother who has proven himself to be a tyrannical leader. Its not the most original story ever but its a significant improvement for the last game.

The co-op is hugely improved. Previously, characters were stuck in the same screen, not able to move in a direction unless both did. Long gone are the days of awkward camera angles. Say 'hello' to your new longer leash. Co-op partners can run around in the same city and be on different streets or in separate houses. Lionhead has also expanded beyond simply giving your friends a gift. You can now start businesses together and even get married. But be careful with those business relationships. Once you are locked in, you can end up sharing both profits and debts.

Breathe a sign of relief, you can still get syphilis ! All the offensive/awesome activites from Fable 2 are back. You can have multiple sex partners, get pregnant, contract STDs, and use condoms. But just like in real life, those condoms aren't always 100% effect. If you want full protection, try to find the Condom of the Gods. I'm not even making that up. You can belch in everyones face or fart and cause people to pass out. And if you eliminate the drinking limit, you can watch civilians stumble around drunk and graphically vomit everywhere. Win.

On a more technical note, the controls are infinitely smoother. Attacking with ranged weapons is far more engaging than in the past. Load times seem shorter and interacting with people seems easier. One downfall is that some of the interactions take a long time to complete. There is a lot of navigating in and out of menus to accomplish simple things like giving a gift or shaking hands. This is especially weird since there are no shortcut menus for anything else is that game. Built into the game is a sanctuary room. The hero quickly transports to this room and once there they must walk up to a map and zoom into cities in order to fast travel. And from the main sanctuary room, you have to walk into other rooms where you can changed clothes or your weapon load out. I understand why they thought this might have been a cool idea, but there were times when having a shortcut button on the controller would have been much easier. And lastly, there were too many collectible missions, especially ones that had 30+ items to find.

Other than those few shortcomings, this game is amazing. It is a well rounded RPG with a very well integrated action/shooting element. The story is great and the missions are fun. As an added bonus, there are talks of Fable 3 merchandise that could even include a line of real life, Fable 3 condoms. Thank you Lionheart, for this seasons best stocking stuffer.